Mosana - Part II

EPISODE 2

IT was getting harder and harder to hide my menses from my father. This was because I was growing into a young woman. I would turn fifteen by the next full moon. I had already started to hear my father complain to my mother as he asked her when I would start ‘flowering’. From the way my mother explained it to him, he got the notion that I was a cursed child and hissed whenever I passed by. All grown up and yet no menses. I knew all too well why he was interested in my puberty.

Again and again he asked, Mahi le pona ko se?

Has she shown you nothing? 

He was referring to my blood. Every girl was required to show her mother the blood on her panties the moment she began menstruating. The mother of the girl was then required to show it to the father, who would then present it to the village chiefs as proof to begin the bargain for an eligible husband.

Nei, my mother always answered, her head down. Most likely to hide the fear in her eyes than out of reverence for my father.

I knew when my father began to grow suspicious. I felt his eyes on me all over the house. Many times he would barge into my room, look around, eye me and walk out. I started to get fidgety. 

To add to my troubles was Dajnu, a huge nuisance of a boy. I knew his father had already come to my father to see about me. Guess my father wasn’t the only one to notice the changes in my body. I also knew my father had given his consent. They were only waiting for proof of my womanhood. That was why anytime I walked by the marketplace, or past the wrestling ground, or anytime I walked back home from the stream, Dajnu stood on the road to leer at me. He would sometimes grab me and squeeze or plant a slobbery kiss on my cheek which I quickly wiped off. Thankfully, the law forbade him to go further than that. He could only do whatsoever with me as soon as we were married. 

Married. My head forbid! That’s why the most painful part of it all was how he called me numa as I walked away from him.

Mine.

It made me want to retch every time. I belonged to nobody! But there was nothing I could do about it. Marriage loomed over me like a dark cloud.

I remember the day my father found out. I had been waiting behind the bushes for my mother to get me clean napkins from the house to change the ones I had on. I was getting ready to say ‘thank you’ to my mother when I noticed something frightful. The footsteps that approached were more than one pair of feet. And one sounded like someone being shuffled. My fear was confirmed when I saw my father appear with my mother in front, a hard hand on the back of her neck. Dread flooded me and I couldn’t speak. My panties were down; I had been waiting for her to bring the napkins so I could quickly fix them in and exit the bushes. Now we were caught.

My father smiled, and my dread spiked. 

Kabo si wu le, he said, his voice calm and cold.

Give it to her.

My mother stretched out a shaky hand and handed me the napkins. Tears were already falling from her eyes. I however, remained strong. On the outside at least. Inside, my heart beat a thousand heartbeats a minute.

I calmly took the napkins from my mother, removed the used ones (which my father immediately snatched), turned my back and fixed the new ones in, wearing back my panties. I slowly turned again to face my parents. My father pushed my mother to me roughly saying, with the same calm voice,

Tu mana ke ila pulu, e munua ka pose!

Before the next half moon, you will be married.

Then he spat at me and walked away.

In my heart, I thought, well that could have been worse. He could have given my mother and I a beating. He could have dragged us by our hair and shamed us before the village council for deceiving him. But his words struck more terror into me than any beating he could have given me. It was a threat he would see fulfilled.

My mother stood where she was for a few seconds weeping softly. It took me a few seconds to get over my initial shock to go to her and comfort her. I wrapped my arms around her and hugged her close. It felt like she was suffering more than I was. I was the one that was getting thrown to the lion, but she was the one that was going to lose her only comfort in her own lion’s den.

She held me and whispered, Oh, iwa ma o, iwa ma o…

Oh, my daughter.

At night, once again, I thought of how I might kill my father. I knew that by the next morning, the village heads would have news of my “flowering”. Marriage negotiations would begin in earnest. Our fathers would arrange everything. My wedding would be planned without me. Dajnu would get what he wanted. I would become miserable forever. My mother would be left inconsolable.

I began to have desperate thoughts, but I struggled to calm down. I needed to think. But I couldn’t think of anything. I couldn’t find a way out. For the first time since Mama tried to teach me, I prayed. 

I saw clearly the zeal with which my father prepared for my wedding. He was constantly out of the house, no doubt to meet with the village council. On one of those days, one of them, the chiefs I mean, came to ‘inspect’ me. I was taken into my mother’s quarters and was made to strip bare for the old retard to feel me up. He “inspected” my breasts, my waist, my buttocks and my overall shape. He even felt around my v-section. Mind you, I was fourteen going on fifteen. And to my credit, I had developed fast, so the old fool had a fun time feeling me up. I stood stiff and unblinking and focused all my strength on keeping my food down instead of stabbing him in the groin. All this was to make sure I was physiologically as well as physically fit to bear children. Appearances were important too. I was to be good enough to seduce the man. I must have shed off my “child” look. I was to look the part. I was to appear as a woman. It had happened before that even when a young girl had started menstruating, if she wasn’t “sexy” enough, the village heads would agree to let her wait at home for a few more months to a year to make sure she added a little more flesh and grew rounder so she could please the man. 

I came ready-made, so there was no extra time for me. The old man who came to inspect me was pleased with me as I heard him say to my father who laughed in glee. That meant I could be given away as soon as possible. That also meant money would enter my father’s coffers. 

Even though she was depressed, Mama tried to help me get accustomed to the fact that I’d soon be married. That was her way of putting up a brave face, I guess. She saw no way out but to accept it. But I wouldn’t. So I shunned her and retorted that I was never going to bend or bow to a man. With tears she warned me that it wouldn’t go well for me if I were to resist. When she saw the determined look in my eyes, she cried harder and begged me not to run away. She thought that was my plan. Of course, I had thought of it, but one, I couldn’t leave her behind, and two, even if I succeeded in escaping, they would kill her for my escape. 

It took two weeks for my father and Dajnu’s father to agree on a price. This was because my father was greedy and wouldn’t have taken a low price, and Dajnu’s father was a hard man who played only by his own rules. I didn’t need to be told; I knew. I wished it had taken more time though, but the gods would grant me no such mercy. I wished they would argue and fight over it until they killed themselves. But all those were wishful thinking. I had no such luck.

My wedding was soon fixed, and my mother told me the date herself. I saw the terror in her eyes for me. My own eyes would have mirrored hers, but I swallowed my fear. It began to dawn on me slowly that there would be no way out of this. I thought, maybe I should take my mother’s advice and accept my fate. But no, I was too stubborn to accept defeat. In my heart, I nursed hope more than ever. Something had to give.

I wouldn’t have worried so much if I had known how close my salvation was. Because something happened. And it saved me.

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Hey!

I'm sorry it took so long to post this next episode. Mind you, this is a whole book; I'm just posting it in parts, which I'm calling episodes. And for those asking, this is an original! By yours truly :D

I'm thinking of posting twice a week, but I'm not sure yet. Actually, YOU will determine that. All you have to do is tell me if you can't get enough of the story and would like me to make it twice a week. But for now, the episodes would come every Sunday. Other info could come within the week.

I'll stop rambling now. Enjoy and have a great life!

xoxo,

Ava.